The Worm Hole- Beechmount flash fiction
November 6, 2013 by Beechmount
Kenny Beechmount, Apartment 3047991
Senior Citizen City, Northwest Territories, Canada G2H 6T6
I feel completely crazy writing to myself 17 years into the past and I’m sure you must feel shocked to bits and pieces receiving this letter from yourself at the age of 80, when in your time, you are only 63. Well, let me explain what happened. You have no doubt heard of worm holes and time warps, so much talked about back around year 2000. Well, you better be sitting down before you read any more.
In 2018, a famous scientist from Egypt came across some ancient Babylonian clay tablets with a heretofore unknown form of writing. Using the most up-to-date computers, he was able to decipher them and the results were simply sensational. It was a mathematical formula for locating space worm holes and an explanation on how to time travel within them. The scientist made it quite clear that the information had come from an extra-terrestrial race of beings who had visited earth several times during the last million years.
These worm holes work a bit like a tunnel. If you travel one way in it, you go back in time and travelling in the opposite direction, you go forward in time.
I can just see you sitting there hopping with excitement, wanting to know if I travelled in to the future. Well, you can relax, young fellow, I did, all of 17 years into the future. Some of my friends also took journeys. Jack took a trip 20 years into the past and he returned with mad cow disease. Boy, you should have seen him. He was jerking around like he was trying to do a 1940 jitterbug. As you will remember, he was born in England and must have returned there at some point during his trip. God knows why! I can tell you that England went bankrupt after Scotland declared independence in 2015 and took over the oil reserves in the North Sea, which all lay within the new Scottish continental shelf.
You remember John Snodgrass. His grandfather came from England back in 1902. Well, he had just retired and thought he could safely take a journey 30 years into the future. Even I was shocked to pieces when he came back. At first, no one recognized him, but he kept insisting he was Snodgrass. He said he had been given a head transplant in 2027, after his own had been damaged beyond repair in an accident. Jeepers’ creepers, he sure did look funny with that small monkey head on his huge shoulders and his constant talk about the poor quality of bananas just about drove everyone nuts. He said something about there not being any other heads available for seniors.
Those who ventured more than 35 years into the future never came back. Rumours have it that they somehow became incorporated into a new form of humanoid robots, but my curiosity is not strong enough to want to find out. Since you are having such a hard time trying to learn creative writing in your time, I have no desire to return there. Neither will I tell you if you will ever become a famous author. My letter here must suffice. By the way, don’t buy that life insurance policy. The company went broke in 2014 and you will only recover 3 cents on the dollar.
Greetings from yourself in the future.